Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize