i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
