You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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