So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that