did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.