he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.