yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting