idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.