I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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