Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
