Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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