Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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