i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
