Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
