I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
