I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
