cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize