And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
smell my finger.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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