Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
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