so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
