stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
