I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize