Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was CRYING into my vagina
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize