Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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