I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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