The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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