Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
