If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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