If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
