Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
