I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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