why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I still have a little drunk in my system
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!