its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.