His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of