Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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