Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
