mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
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I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
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Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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