if you like me you must not know who I am
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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