2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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