He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Sorry about my life...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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