Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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