how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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