I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
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The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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