i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
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so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
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How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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