I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize