You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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