all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
soo... how was my night?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize