Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
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I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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