my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
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Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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