Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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