If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
