Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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