..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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