it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize