I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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